Hi Friends, It's been a difficult few months for me so I've been spending most of my time in prayer. I didn't mean to disappear - it wasn't may intention to forget about you. I'm sorry. Consistency has always been a problem for me. I seem to have all the gusto in the world to think up new ideas and get started, but when push comes to shove, I have a hard time withstanding the storm. I often fold like a cheap suit when things go wrong (or become scary). I end up just running away in fear and waiting for the danger to pass. I can certainly relate to Peter in my walk with the LORD: And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” The LORD knows I am plagued with doubt - especially self doubt. There are so many things I would like to do - sing, teach, pray, deliver, share the gospel, climb a mountain, feed the homeless, perform my one-man show! But because I think so little of myself (and I'm afraid of what others think) I can't seem to make any of these things a reality. Not too mention the fact that even the slightest hint of mockery or disapproval makes me stop in my tracks and doubt my decision. This condition has been absolutely debilitating for me my entire life, but I have hope and faith that the LORD will heal me. He has already cured me of my anxiety and addictions - now I just need to get over my "people pleasing" tendencies so I can finally be useful in the Kingdom of God. 😉 Yesterday I watched the video below and Latoya gave me the "kick in the pants" I needed to get back in the game. Thank you for being so obedient to the LORD Latoya. I am very grateful for your words of encouragement. It is my prayer that if you are reading this post and you resonate with my struggle, that you be released from the bondage of people-pleasing today, in Jesus Name. P.S I just read through this post and found it very helpful, so you may want to check it out too. I especially like this part: "The goal for her is to be like Jesus rather than this delusional idea that she has in her mind. Christ was so connected to His Father that He was free to say “yes” or “no,” depending on what a situation needed. The opinion that mattered most to Him was His Father’s, and He knew He had that good opinion, which empowered Him to live in the Father’s perfect pleasure. And a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you, I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:11) This freedom released Jesus to be free to make decisions that were untethered from the pressures, manipulations, or (perceived) desires of other people, whether their desires were good or not. We see this illustrated when Mary and Martha came to Him, asking about their brother. They wanted Jesus to heal their brother, Lazarus. Jesus, on the other hand, did not respond the way they wanted Him to answer them (John 11:6, 14-15). He was resting in the Father’s favorable opinion of Him, which freed Him to make a clear-headed decision about the best course of action." I'll be back tomorrow with some more resources for you. While I am far from having all the answers, I spend a lot of time studying the Word of God so if you want someone to journey with - someone who's still in the trenches herself - I invite you to hang around and stay in touch. Much love, Carmen XO
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